“I don’t like Starbucks anymore, I like Coffee Bean better.”

-said the dumbest person ever #thispersoniswhaticonsidertheepitomeoffailure

IMG_4923

Advertisements

#DudsOfStarbucks on Instagram

IMG_0021.JPG

Stephanie Bitterman and I are starting a “Duds of Starbucks”/@dudsofstarbucks acct on Instagram, because we all know that Starbucks is where the duds flock (self-included). Send your pics to dudsofstarbucks@gmail.com and let the shaming begin!

photo cred Stephanie Bitterman

Seventeen 6-Word Memoirs

IMG_4901

1. Never really quite getting it right.

2. The key is to drink heavily.

3. At least I’m not doing meth.

4. Deny, forget, repeat. Deny, forget, repeat.

5. Who needs boyfriends when there’s NPR?

6. Don’t live in parents’ basement–winning!

7. Must delete Internet history before die.

8. In a serious relationship with cheese.

9. The secret is pure, unadulterated denial.

10. Learning to embrace inner cat lady.

11. Convince yourself it could be worse.

12. Shits I give: rapidly approaching zero.

13. Just smile, nod, and drink lots.

14. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

15. It’s never too early to drink.

16. Made my therapist cry again today.

17. At least Hell will be warm.

Photo is of a sticky note by Anne Taintor, Inc.