-said the dumbest person ever #thispersoniswhaticonsidertheepitomeoffailure
Month: January 2015
#DudsOfStarbucks on Instagram
Stephanie Bitterman and I are starting a “Duds of Starbucks”/@dudsofstarbucks acct on Instagram, because we all know that Starbucks is where the duds flock (self-included). Send your pics to dudsofstarbucks@gmail.com and let the shaming begin!
photo cred Stephanie Bitterman
Seventeen 6-Word Memoirs
1. Never really quite getting it right.
2. The key is to drink heavily.
3. At least I’m not doing meth.
4. Deny, forget, repeat. Deny, forget, repeat.
5. Who needs boyfriends when there’s NPR?
6. Don’t live in parents’ basement–winning!
7. Must delete Internet history before die.
8. In a serious relationship with cheese.
9. The secret is pure, unadulterated denial.
10. Learning to embrace inner cat lady.
11. Convince yourself it could be worse.
12. Shits I give: rapidly approaching zero.
13. Just smile, nod, and drink lots.
14. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
15. It’s never too early to drink.
16. Made my therapist cry again today.
17. At least Hell will be warm.
Photo is of a sticky note by Anne Taintor, Inc.
Jus sayin
I called my mom to confront her for not texting me back last night, but she didn’t pick up.
Photo is of a greeting card by Pistachio Press
Does anyone else’s butt jiggle when he/she stirs his/her oatmeal?
Ladies and gentlemen, my life in a screenshot.
only bad chi 