Mike’s trying to make me fat(ter)

Just got back from Starbucks, where I had another encounter with Mike, my soul mate Starbucks barista:

Me: “I’m SO GLAD it’s Friday!”

Mike: “You mean, you’re so glad you’re seeing me on Friday?”

Me: “I’m SO GLAD I’m seeing you on Friday.”

Mike: [high-fives me]

And then he gave me a subtle, unsolicited free cookie again (chewy chocolate this time), despite my attempt at subtle protestation.

No, I don’t ALWAYS wear this sweater

But I’m really trying to not eat more because it’s just the last thing I need, so when I got back to my office, I asked my boss if he wanted my cookie.

Me: “… and yesterday Mike gave me two giant warm chocolate chip cookies AND a breakfast sandwich–and I ate them ALL.”

Boss [as he listens, eating my cookie]:

Me: “OK, I’m going to repeat that, and I’m gonna need you to change your reaction.”

11 thoughts on “Mike’s trying to make me fat(ter)

  1. Stella's Mommy says:

    Ok. You and Mike need to go on a date. Also, can I go to your wedding? The only deal breaker I can think of at this point is if he gets all irritated if you say medium instead of grande. Starbucks baristas that freak out about that can’t be trusted

    Liked by 1 person

  2. ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ʏᴏʀᴋ ᴍɪɴᴜᴛᴇ says:

    Hmm… Given the amount of free food and special treatment this Starbucks barista keeps giving to you, the guest of honor at your wedding really ought to be Howard Schultz.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. kindredspirit23 says:

    Mike sounds cool; you deserve cool; guys are also schmucks when it comes to giving a woman treats…they don’t really want you fat; they want you happy and don’t look at the long-term effects very well.

    PS – I am available! (Didn’t think so…)

    Liked by 1 person

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