I don’t know about you, but I am severely disappointed with the selection of emojis available to me, even after this latest iPhone software update where they finally included skin colors other than white and couples other than heterosexual in the emoticon keyboard. And, personally, I would like a dictionary to go along with my emoji keyboard explaining just exactly what each one is supposed to mean, because there are too many amorphous kebabs, giant hazelnuts (?), and bizarre, potentially racially insensitive, mask-like images for my liking.
Now, the following emojis I think somebody should make may actually already exist, and I just don’t know about them due to my technological retardation. However, as far as I know it now, my universe does not include them and I would like it to kplsthx.
The Middle Finger
COME ON. AMIRITE?! Like, this is arguably the most essential of the emojis–it conveys what we most frequently want to convey to people. HOW IS THIS NOT AN OPTION YET.
The “Hands Up,” or, as I would call it, “The Mike Brown”
The “fingers crossed”
My fingers are always metaphorically crossed–I can always use as much luck as possible in any given situation in my life ever. The odds are always never in my favor. Thusly, this one seems necessary.
The “jacking off”
Because nothing says IDGAF quite like it.
The “About-Face,” AKA, the “Nope.”
The “side hug”
So that every pedophile father can text his daughter a reminder/threat to stay in her lane after his 7-yr old son/14th child chaperones her date with her fiancé and reports that things got a little too frontal.
The “relief” or, “oh thank you JESUS”
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