When you see a homeless man outside CVS as you’re walking in

and decide to get him a snack, but want to get him something that’s at least sort of nutritional while still being somewhat enjoyable, so you buy him honey roasted peanuts and a peanut butter chocolate chip Clif bar, but then he doesn’t want them so you offer them to the next homeless man you see and he doesn’t want them either, so you ask the third homeless man you encounter if he wants them, and he doesn’t either, so you think “did I go overboard on the peanuts? Or maybe it’s just me…” and take the snacks home and resolve to find a homeless person who wants them later, and then you go out for your friend’s birthday that night and get drunk and come home and pour the bag of peanuts into your mouth and start eating the Clif bar and think “this is gross, I don’t even WANT this” but of course keep eating it anyway while also thinking “this was supposed to be for a HOMELESS person” and attempting to respond to unexpected drunk texts from your ex with the tact and grace of a unicorn.

33 thoughts on “When you see a homeless man outside CVS as you’re walking in”

  1. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:
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    I learned LONG ago that it is NOT food they want. I spent my only money one morning when I was working for the cult (the Sea Org) on Hollywood Blvd. when I was about 15 to buy myself a rare treat of hot chocolate and a breakfast burrito, I had taken one bite, when a homeless man approached me and asked for money. Seeing as I had literally spent my last cent on that meal, I offered it to him, figuring I could skip the meal (I was a pro at missing many meals). He took it and as I turned and walked away, he threw it at the back of my head dousing me in hot chocolate and egg and potato. I then had to spend the 18 hour workday covered in my breakfast. Fun times.

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  2. Flop til you drop "FTYD" says:
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    My first thought was “…just how many homeless people do you have outside of your CVS? Maybe time to think about changing drugstores?” (just kidding)

    One time, I was with a boss and another employee, we were driving to lunch. There was a person with a cardboard sign asking for a handout. My boss was kinda a jerk, but had actually fallen on hard times himself at one point in life, but figured out the programs available and so had no sympathy to those holding signs – when the next thing happened, it wasn’t out of concern, but to be an ass:

    “Pull over, pull over…” rolls down the window and tells the guy “I’m not going to give you money, but you know, there’s a soup kitchen – gives a free hot meal, provides shower and place to stay” just down this street 1 block. “You don’t need to stand here with a sign.” (he knows about the program because he’s used it himself many years ago- therefore refuses to give money to people)

    the homeless man just stared at us and then turned his head and ignored us. He wanted money, probably to spend on alcohol. I’m pretty sure he already knew where the free food was as to his close proximity to the Costa Mesa Soup Kitchen.

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  3. DoesItEvenMatterWhoIAm? says:
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    I actually bought a dude a 40 oz. bottle of beer once. He was having the shakes and I know how terrible the DTs can be for an alcoholic. It was a cheap solution to get him out of pain temporarily.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Mindy says:
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    I don’t even actually know you but you are my favorite person. I am in tears laughing not only at this post but at the confusion in the comments. I am literally crying and giggling to myself

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mcgettigan says:
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    I laughed a lot reading this the other day. And then today at work I thought about it and chuckled once more. A+++ would be amused by again.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. ACoupleTalks says:
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    Homeless people are the pickiest eaters. I once helped out a friend who was Buddhist so they made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. 400 of them to distribute on the streets. Everyone kept asking, “Where the chicken at?!”

    Liked by 1 person

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