10 Ways to Dodge a Kiss

Ok, this one, I DO dread. When someone goes in for the kiss and you’re not feeling it, (if you were even aware you were on a date), it’s basically the worst. But have no fear–I’m going to coach you through what you can do to dodge the unwanted kiss with the skill of a Chinese child laborer. Your options are:

1. BOB AND WEAVE, PEOPLE. Bob. and. weave.

2. Start crying

Make it ugly, otherwise you run the risk of them thinking you’re a delicate damsel in distress who needs their saving.

3. Start a diatribe against people who don’t recycle.

You’re Rand Paul and this topic is your Patriot Act–you could go for HOURS.

4. Tell them they remind you of your father

When they’re about 2 inches from landing.

5. Blow your rape whistle

Which you should have at all times around your neck orΒ on your belt.

6. Break out into dance

You can say you have Terror Squad/Fat Joe’s “Lean Back” stuck in your head.

7. Say you’re saving your first kiss for marriage.

Hey, the Duggars do it, and look how well it turned out for them.

8. Scream “I HAVE ORAL HERPES”

You can thank me later.

9. Sneeze

10.Β Stop drop and roll

Right out of there

Featured on News Cult: http://newscult.com/10-perfect-ways-dodge-kiss-really-dont-want/

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25 thoughts on “10 Ways to Dodge a Kiss

  1. kindredspirit23 says:

    I am a guy, so I would be the one “going in for” the kiss. You know what? Your ways will work. However, for me, it has been so difficult for me to work up to even trying (shy, whatever) that truly all you have to do is put a hand up and say, “I don’t feel that, Scott.” I guarantee you that will work with me and as it is, saying no, it should work for all others (use the rape whistle if not).

    Liked by 1 person

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