Gift Ideas for Your Boss

Whether it’s the holidays, your boss’ birthday or anniversary, or you’re on vacation and feel like you need to bring them back a souvenir, here is your go-to gift guide for your professional superiors.

1. Alcohol… preferably of the hard variety

“To make your company a more enjoyable experience all-around.”

2. A juice cleanse gift certificate

“To help take off that extra poundage.”

3. A day off from you

“I figured you could use some quality ‘me’ time. To clarify, this means I’ll be taking the day off but still getting paid.”

4. A colonoscopy (+ accompanying chicken broth, white grape popsicles and soft toilet paper)

“I gotchu–you’re getting older so you need to make sure that shit’s spic and span.”

5. A grave plot

Pls see above ^^

6. A self-help book

“You appear to need it.”

7. Anything from J. Crew

“To add to your douche-wear collection.”

8. A ShamWow

It just seems like that company could use the business–it’s the right thing to do.

9. A Fleshlight

Pls see above ^^

10. A daily reminder to keep his wedding ring on

“You seem to forget.”

11.Ā A contribution to a charity

“I just put it on your credit card–hope you don’t mind!”

12. A “World’s Worst Boss” Mug

13. A swift kick in the nuts

If it’s called for.

14. A DVD copy of Horrible Bosses

Or Blu-ray if they have the technology.Ā 

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9 thoughts on “Gift Ideas for Your Boss

  1. bensbitterblog says:

    2. To get that annoying stick out of your butt.
    3. Obviously good gift for both of us.
    5. For that near future planning.
    6. I have a self help book. I help myself to the buffet.
    8. To clean up your crap.
    14. To show what we are going to do to their house.

    Liked by 1 person

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