There are the obvious ones–don’t operate heavy machinery, or try to be productive at anything that requires concentration or detailed work. But what about all the other things you shouldn’t do when you’re tired? Here they are.
1. Go to a strip club
You really need to have some pep in your step for this one–things can get a little dicey in there, and if you don’t have your wits about you, before you know it, you’ll have adopted a 19-yr old named Champagne and agreed to host her baptism.
2. Have sex
Because you could fall asleep, and then the rapey-ness of things gets harder to define.
PSYCH–there is never a time you should not eat. Eating is suitable for all times.
4. Call your parents
It’s much harder to pretend to care when you’re sleep-deprived.
5. Look back through your high school yearbooks
You need to be in prime physical and mental condition for that expedition down memory lane, which can be best described as, “YIKES.”
6. Argue with your significant other.
You’ll fall asleep before you can accurately account for who
won made the most logical, rational, and actionable points.
7. Play darts
8. Your taxes
9. Go on WebMD
That’s a rabbit hole of obsessive hypochondria that your mental health frankly can’t afford to go down (“Oh god, I was confident that’s an ingrown hair, but now I’m wondering if it’s herpes. No–it’s definitely an ingrown hair… Or herpes. I should just get it checked to be sure. These pictures aren’t helpful. I should probably just go to med school.”)
10. Watch Dateline
That shit will screw with your dreams. If you fall asleep to Dateline, you will wake up convinced you were facing unjust living conditions in prison while your baby sister had to cook herself macaroni back home at the trailer park, but you decided to go to prom anyway, because YOLO right–guaranteed.
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