10 Things Not to Do When You’re Tired

There are the obvious ones–don’t operate heavy machinery, or try to be productive at anything that requires concentration or detailed work. But what about all the other things you shouldn’t do when you’re tired? Here they are.

1. Go to a strip club

You really need to have some pep in your step for this one–things can get a little dicey in there, and if you don’t have your wits about you, before you know it, you’ll have adopted a 19-yr old named Champagne and agreed to host her baptism.

2. Have sex

Because you could fall asleep, and then the rapey-ness of things gets harder to define.

3. Eat

PSYCH–there is never a time you should not eat. Eating is suitable for all times.

4. Call your parents

It’s much harder to pretend to care when you’re sleep-deprived.

5. Look back through your high school yearbooks

You need to be in prime physical and mental condition for that expedition down memory lane, which can be best described as, “YIKES.”

6. Argue with your significant other.

You’ll fall asleep before you can accurately account for who won made the most logical, rational, and actionable points.

7. Play darts

8. Your taxes

9. Go on WebMD

That’s a rabbit hole of obsessive hypochondria that your mental health frankly can’t afford to go down (“Oh god, I was confident that’s an ingrown hair, but now I’m wondering if it’s herpes. No–it’s definitely an ingrown hair… Or herpes. I should just get it checked to be sure. These pictures aren’t helpful. I should probably just go to med school.”)

10. Watch Dateline

That shit will screw with your dreams. If you fall asleep to Dateline, you will wake up convinced you were facing unjust living conditions in prison while your baby sister had to cook herself macaroni back home at the trailer park, but you decided to go to prom anyway, because YOLO right–guaranteed.

Featured on News Cult: http://newscult.com/?p=48746


12 thoughts on “10 Things Not to Do When You’re Tired

  1. kindredspirit23 says:

    It really depends (the eating one) if you finish swallowing before sleeping. ’nuff said.
    Also, as I have found 2 more:
    1) Driving – big no-no.
    2) typing on pc or reading posts or whatever. I wake up a lot with my face on the keyboard.
    (also, once, fell asleep falling straight forward slowly. Woke up after being on my nose for about 30 minutes…ouch)

    Liked by 1 person

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