Let’s face it: we’re dying. Moment by moment. We’re on a slow, painful march towards death. But none of us live like that. We live like our best days are ahead–it’s only going to get better–we have infinite time to accomplish our goals and live our dreams. We’re immortal.
WAKE UP PEOPLE. You could literally die in one second. What if you find out you have terminal cancer? Would you be satisfied with how you’ve lived? Have you done everything you’ve wanted? NO YOU HAVE NOT. So get your shit together, and make a bucket list. And then make a point of ACTUALLY crossing things off it– “making/checking off a bucket list” should not be on your bucket list.
Mine is below if you need inspiration. Some of these things I’ve accomplished already, some I still have to go. I’ll leave it up to your imagination to guess which is which. Here’s what I hope to do before I die. And if I die before I do, the burden is on all of you to finish it for me. NO PRESSURE DON’T FUCK IT UP IDIOTS.
1. Invite a Jehovah’s Witness in when they knock on my door and engage in a thoughtful debate with them about the existence of God and the merits of Christianity.
2. Eat deep fried ice cream.
3. Date a guy who’s not a complete loser. #it’sasurprisinglydifficultfeat
5. Tell that one cashier at Best Buy what I really think of her–that she’s a soulless, bitter killjoy and every time she utters a word a MILLION angels die.
6. Impeach The Patriarchy
7. Travel any- and everywhere.
8. Understand “The Cloud”
9. Never accumulate excessive wealth.
10. Win a game of The Settlers of Catan against my dbag cousin who thinks he’s omniscient but is really just a scourge upon humanity.
11. Have clear skin.
12. Write a book.
13. Recite Allen Ginsberg’s “Howl” in its entirety at someone’s funeral.
The End. It’s short but to the point.
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