To my big hipped brethren: fret not, for there are pros to our
pear hourglass-shaped figures. Here they are:
1. You can carry your laundry basket on them
Whenever it’s laundry time, I just hoist the basket up on my hip shelf and get to walking. It’s like those African ladies who carry water on their heads. Except with a dose of white privilege.
Should you choose to
ruin your life have kids, big hips will ease the birthing process. Thinking about that makes me cringe does it make anyone else cringe I’m trying to be a good feminist and like not shudder at the thought of it but right now we’re struggling.
3. You can open doors with them
Just give a swift hip-check to the door and voila: it’ll open to its widest berth.
4. You don’t look like a prepubescent boy
It’s as simple as that.
5. They’re an excuse to wear leggings
Because spandex is the only thing that fits both your hips and the rest of your lower half.
6. They’re good for dancing
More hip = more stuff to shake.
7. They create space
They’re the equivalent of walking with your arms out Jesus-style; they make you take up more space, which means that other people can’t infringe on it. The less hip you have, the closer people can get to you. Which is just ew.
8. Hula hooping is easier
Obviously the most important perk of all. Like, you practically don’t have to do any work–the hula hoop just sits on your hips for DAYS.
We just like curves. Curves on curves on curves on curves. There’s something so natural about them. They give a body character; make it interesting. They tell a story.
10. They’re a good pedophile-repellant
Pls see #4^^
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