Barista: “Did I hear you say you hope you get hit by a bus?”

Me:

Considering tracking down my old prison stalker

Maybe he’ll text me back.

#lawschool

When you come to after studying for a while

… and realize where you’ve been keeping your highlighter.

#lawschool

 

Me on the phone with the DIRECTV guy today

Subverting gender norms ALL day.

#thisiswhathappenswhenyouputmeinchargeoftheofficebathroomkeys

When your major food group glows in the dark

Me when I try to talk to a guy.

#Knope

The unfollow is mutual

#happyelectionday

When you’re the two most under-achieving guests at a costume party.