Tag: dating
This person is my soulmate
When your Internet ads are 👌
When a random guy at a bar
buys you an unsolicited shot and proceeds to tell you that “you need to stop trying so hard to try” and that “you suck at life”
Barista: “Did I hear you say you hope you get hit by a bus?”
Me:
Considering tracking down my old prison stalker
Maybe he’ll text me back.
Me: Can someone tell how often I view their Instagram?
…. and Facebook …. and Twitter?
Siri:
It wouldn’t be a Saturday night
if I didn’t wake up on Sunday wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
#oranyothernightoftheweekforthatmatter
Subverting gender norms ALL day.
Me when I try to talk to a guy.

#Knope