Me trying to understand Fourth Amendment case law

Barista: “Did I hear you say you hope you get hit by a bus?”

Me:

Me: Can someone tell how often I view their Instagram?

…. and Facebook …. and Twitter?

Siri:

Me when I try to talk to a guy.

#Knope

When you hear a song a guy wrote about you

When a kindergartner you’re tutoring tells you that you smell like cupcakes

You:

That is LITERALLY the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.

When you lose your ring that says “fuck”

And you have to describe it to people when asking around

Me trying to figure out if/when it’s ever appropriate to cancel my LSAT score

My sister [with conviction]: “Don’t cancel your score unless you get diarrhea in the middle of the test.”

Me:

When your life goal is to meet your annual out-of-pocket maximums

To make the insurance co. pay.

#ATTN:corrupthealthinsuranceindustry #I’mcomingforyou

 

 

When you’re sick and you lose your voice

And you’re not-so-secretly happy to have a socially acceptable excuse to not talk to people.