Tag: sex
When your Internet ads are 👌
When a random guy at a bar
buys you an unsolicited shot and proceeds to tell you that “you need to stop trying so hard to try” and that “you suck at life”
Considering tracking down my old prison stalker
Maybe he’ll text me back.
Me: Can someone tell how often I view their Instagram?
…. and Facebook …. and Twitter?
Siri:
It wouldn’t be a Saturday night
if I didn’t wake up on Sunday wanting to crawl into a hole and die.
#oranyothernightoftheweekforthatmatter
Subverting gender norms ALL day.
Me when I try to talk to a guy.

#Knope
When you hear a song a guy wrote about you
Realest moment of the day
When the mechanic said to me, “Yeah… They don’t care about you.”

#grantedhewastalkingaboutthecardealership #butstill.. #applicable #generallytomylife